266 - Charlotte Sills - Love, Power, and Authenticity in the Therapeutic Relationship
“If I call on my best self––I'm here, I'm present and I'm meeting with my client – then there is love. I don't talk about love and I don't say love, but I can't help that being there.” - Charlotte Sills
There’s a universal truth that goes something like this: To get where we’re going, it’s a good idea to examine where we’ve been. I’ll add that it’s also in our best interest to chat up the elders. With few exceptions, those who have come before have stockpiled heaps of wisdom and they’re happy to share.
Charlotte Sills, MA, MSc, is an elder with intelligence and foresight to spare, literal textbooks worth of knowledge, as her conversation with co-host Anne Remy demonstrates. Charlotte is a psychotherapist in private practice in the UK and a professor whose work is rooted in transactional analysis (or TA), the psychoanalytic theory and therapy method that examines how people communicate and interact. She’s also a mother, grandmother, and a “bit” of a writer (I refer you back to the textbooks mentioned above).
What I love most about this episode is the mutual curiosity at play. That quickly becomes evident the first time Charlotte volleys a question back in Anne’s direction, and the pair then collaborates on an answer. What I love almost as much is Charlotte’s long view regarding intrapersonal work. She’s four decades into her career and still genuinely enthusiastic about self-exploration. “We do continue to do our work, firstly because that journey is ongoing, and it's ongoing because we are ongoing. The life stages pass by, and bring up different challenges for us, evoking different things,” she offers. “I also think it's an ethical obligation of therapists to do their own personal work, particularly if they're going to work relationally.” Now, where have I come across that sage advice before? (Hint; from ME!)
Charlotte and Anne occupy opposite ends of the age spectrum. Still, they’re committed to learning from each other and working together to realize dreams for our profession (less racism, more connection) and humanity (less hurt, more healing). We can get there with more genuinely inquisitive conversations in and out of the therapy space. Charlotte agrees. “There’s a fabulous quote by Martin Boomer that when two people meet humanly and authentically, God is the electricity that passes between them,” she says.
I’ll take more of whatever God force these two women are serving.
RECOMMENDED EPISODES
CWH242: Eugene Ellis––Investigating Race And The Gaze Of Society In Therapy, The Race Conversation
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE
Transactional Analysis: A Relational Perspective (Advancing Theory in Therapy)
In Love with Supervision: Creating Transformative Conversations
Carl Rogers - The Gloria Session
GUEST CONTACT & BIO
contact@charlottesills.co.uk
Charlotte Sills (she/her) is a psychotherapist, coach, supervisor, and trainer in private practice in London UK, and on the teaching faculty of Metanoia Institute and Ashridge Hult Business School, UK. She is also Professor of Coaching at Ashridge and on the Steering Committee of the International Association of Relational Transactional Analysis. She has published widely in the field of therapy and coaching.
Authentic Leaders Group
Are you a therapist stepping into leadership for the first time?
Or maybe you've been in a leadership position for a while, but are bumping up against new struggles?
Our Authentic Leadership Group is here to help you become the authentic and wholehearted leader you aspire to be. And we believe this journey is best undertaken with the guidance of experienced mentors alongside fellow learners.
Next cohort starts November 2024!
Join Sarah in this journey of self-discovery and leadership mastery, where you'll enhance your leadership skills and forge meaningful connections with fellow therapists who are committed to their own growth and the betterment of the therapy field.
Register now at https://www.headheartbiztherapy.com/authentic-leaders-group
SUPPORT THE SHOW
Conversations With a Wounded Healer Merch
Join our Patreon for gifts & perks
Shop our Bookshop.org store and support local booksellers
Share a rating & review on Apple Podcasts
***
Let’s be friends! You can find us in the following places…
Sarah’s Website:
www.headheartbiztherapy.com/podcast
Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/HeadHeartBizTherapy/
Instagram:
Anne’s Website:
Instagram: