256 - Amelia Nagoski - Sage, Scientific Advice For Minimizing The Effects Of Burnout
Science is the best idea humanity has ever come up with, and it is deeply and problematically flawed. It is a terrible, terrible mess, and also the only hope for our survival as a species.” - Amelia Nagoski
I know from burnout, that combination of bone-deep mental, physical, and emotional exhaustion that manifests in feelings of overwhelm, joylessness, and desperation. Sadly, you probably do, too. Anne's unexpectedly musical convo with author and choir director Amelia Nagoski, DMA, is the burnout primer we all need: the science behind it, the antidote for it, and why women experience it differently than men. Because, of course, we do.
Amelia shares the good/bad news from her book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, which she co-wrote alongside her twin sister Emily Nagoski, PhD. A separate workbook is also available to help folks break their burnout cycle. OK, so, the bad news first: It's not that we're doing all the wrong things to counteract burnout, or that we're simply incapable of committing to wellness. Instead, "The goals that are set are unmeetable [and] unattainable. The demands are unceasing," says Amelia. Especially for women, who are more likely than men to be pulled between society's expectations and the reality of what's possible, to say nothing of what we actually desire for ourselves.
Before we get to the good news (and there's plenty!), take note of that Doctorate Of Musical Arts (or DMA) after Amelia's name as it hints at the remedy for burnout. "Music as a participatory activity is so good for people as catharsis, as a sense of safety in community. Especially communal singing," she says. The book offers a safe space, too, for anyone who's ever felt alone in their burnout. "You hope [it] results in something that will move and touch and communicate with someone who wants to hear it, who needs to hear it, who will see themselves in it." Message received, Amelia!
Now for that good news. There's a simple fix for burnout: connection. That's it. So, be brave, even when building relationships seems more complicated than erecting an emotional fortress. Amelia reminds us that those walls were originally constructed by outside forces anyway, to keep us separated from each other. "Somebody around you really wants that wall down, too," she says. "They're just afraid to ask."
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GUEST CONTACT & BIO
Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle
The Burnout Workbook: Advice and Exercises to Help You Unlock the Stress Cycle
LinkedIn
Amelia Nagoski, D.M.A. was an Associate Professor and Coordinator of Music at Western New England University. She co-authored the New York Times bestseller Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle with her sister Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. Amelia's work involves helping singers connect with their internal experiences through dynamic techniques. She lives in New England with her husband, one cat, and two rescue dogs.
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