135 - Nicoletta Heidegger - Sluts and Scholars, Healing Sexual Trauma
“We store so much stuff in our body. So, sometimes that's trauma, sometimes it's joy or whatever, and to be able to recognize, be aware and, like, feel what's happening and name it sounds like you're on your way to, you know, being connected to your body.” ~Nicoletta Heidegger
Healing is what happens to you while you’re busy recording a podcast. Or something like that. This is the second in a series of deeply personal conversations but, unlike the first, I did not expect a landslide of emotion. I did not intend to share my real-time revelations with you. And yet, here we are. 100+ shows in and I feel as securely held by you, this amazing community, in this process as I did my guests Nicoletta Heidegger, MA, MeD, LMFT, who shepherded me through the spontaneous quake; and Rich Buino, LSW, my husband and post-show co-pilot. My hope is that all my messy vulnerability resonates with you and sheds welcome light on what can feel like a dark, lonely process.
For the sake of mutual safety, this episode is preceded by a trigger warning regarding sexual trauma and minor attracted persons, more commonly labeled as pedohiles. Please take care of yourself, even if that means skipping this conversation.
About Nicoletta. In addition to her work as a therapist and sexoligist, her PhD studies in human sexuality, and hosting duties of the much-lauded podcast Sluts and Scholars, she’s a genuine old soul. Her empathic, careful handling of sexual divergence has led to her focus on preventative practices for minor attracted persons even as she runs counter to our culture’s entrenched, shame-based attitudes toward sexuality. As one of only a handful of therapists working with non-offending folks, Nicoletta pushes against the narrative of punishment over prevention which has done little to successfully protect children from sexual abuse.
In the spirit of radical transparency, I knew that my on-air experience with Nicoletta required an equally revealing on-air debrief. Healing can take a long time, and each journey is wildly different. I am forever grateful to Rich for navigating these emotional switchbacks with me. There’s no shame in doing this work out loud and I hope that this episode helps you lean into that space.
Nicoletta Heidegger is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Sexologist currently pursuing her Phd in Human Sexuality. When not seeing clients, she hosts the sex positive, shame free, educational podcast sluts and scholars.
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